Having successfully performed for our troops in Cyprus, comedian Hal Cruttenden was hoping he’d be able to do more shows for the British Armed Forces.
But for some reason it hasn’t happened.
“I wanted to do Afghanistan but I was told I was unsuitable,” he says, clearly disappointed by the rejection.
“I have no idea why I was turned down, but I think they believe my act!”
A seasoned stand-up with the Royal Variety Performance, Michael McIntrye’s Comedy Roadshow, The Rob Brydon Show and Jason Manford’s Comedy Rocks on his CV, Hal’s new one-man show, Tiny Rage – which he brings to Birmingham as part of the Comedy Festival – finds Hal being, well, a bit moany.
“I am getting more moany as I get older, so there’s a lot more stuff about ageing and I’m a lot more defensive about being southern and middle-class,” he says, though he stresses that his stage persona is just that.
“I’m not a genuine moaner, but in my act, I am a moaner and I think the Armed Forces believe I wouldn’t be able to cope with a combat zone.
“You can’t be a moaner in a place like Afghanistan – complaining about wearing a helmet, meanwhile all these mortars are going off, there are explosions all around you, and you’re just standing there shaking!
“But I’d love a bit of that.
“I love Armed Forces gigs, there’s something really nice, honourable about the audience, and they’re really boisterous, which I like.”
* Hal Cruttenden plays Birmingham’s Glee Club on October 14. Ring 0871 472 0400 or go to www.glee.co.uk.