A small crater, about the size of your little finger nail, in the articular cartilage on my left femoral condyle, has ended my season.

A season in which the only games I have completed both took place at Moseley CC: a Birmingham League match for Leamington and a Dougie Brown benefit game. The fragility of my raison d'etre, my central defining feature, could not have been better illustrated.

I started this season with a simple goal: to enjoy every single day of the season, with as much disregard as possible for which team I was playing or the natural fluctuations of form, to try to take something from whatever the cricketing gods decided to throw at me.

There have been occasions when I have found myself wishing time away, hoping for a time in the future when the current travails have passed. But in doing this, I have not only missed out on the potentially enjoyable process of transition, but I have wasted precious time stagnating in self-pity, self-flagellation, or a combination of both. Hence my attempt to ensure a sunny outlook and positive spin, an attempt severely tested by my injury.

So what have I gained from this summer? The first area in which I've changed has been the way in which I watch a game involving Warwickshire. I have found myself cheering or booing with the rest of the crowd, shaking my fist at an umpire, or stomping my feet in delight in contrast to my usual contained, non-emotive involvement in the game.

Both versions are motivated by the same nervous energy I get when watching my team perform and, of course, the need to preserve a level head in a game situation. But I've realised how much more fun it is to let your emotions run riot as a spectator (although I doubt it would be too appreciated by my team-mates when I return to the fold!).

I've also thoroughly enjoyed writing this column. It has forced me to think through some of the ideas I have about the game, to structure them in a coherent way and the process of putting them on paper has highlighted some inconsistencies which I have had to confront.

I guess that I've been forced to step back and look at some of the issues that affect me everyday as a cricketer, but which receive little attention in the fast-moving, all-engulfing season.

Between experiencing depths of boredom I hadn't realised existed, I have had time to reflect upon my unbelievable good fortune in playing a game I love. The desire to embrace the challenges inherent in the game seems to have fermented inside me, producing a heady brew of unfulfilled ambition.

But I am determined to maximise every chance I get and, if I can, to help others fulfil their ambitions. There is a part of me which is bitter and disbelieving, but I'm trying to keep that part firmly off limits.

* Mark Wagh is happy to answer queries on cricketing matters. He can be contacted at mark_wagh@mrn.co.uk