Proven ball-tampering by Surrey last Friday against Nottinghamshire and a threat by South African captain Graeme Smith to take legal action against West Indies all-rounder Dwayne Bravo dominate the weekend's headlines.
The lawyers are in business again because, yet again, ball-tampering and sledging are two sores which fester unchecked by the authorities.
A week ago, this column highlighted some of the illegal tricks of the trade used by bowlers to obtain freakish swing of the most lethal and unexpected sort.
Read last week's column:
Cricket has always been a mix of cultures and brains. There are intelligent cricketers; there are those whose inability to think leave them light years away from membership of Mensa. And then there are those who play for Surrey.
The events at The Oval late on Friday beggar description. After being bowled out for 217, the hosts received a gentle warning from umpires Merv Kitchen and Nigel Llong for the lifting of the quarter-seam - the same cross-seam over which the Surrey bowlers of more than a decade ago were reported at least four times for the crudest of interference. This time, the ball was barely 20 overs old.
Captain Mark Ramprakash was lucky his team was not officially penalised instead of receiving a generous "Gypsy's Warning." There they were, bang to rights and they had got away with it.
Now for an act of crass stupidity. Within an hour, the umpires made what should have been their last random inspection and found the quarter seam gouged out and sticking up "like a wing" .
The ball was immediately changed and five runs added to a Notts total which, in the context of their final score of 692 for seven declared, was hardly the most draconian of punishments.
Coach Alan Butcher waffled about "wanting to cooperate with any inquiry and we are conscious of the need to uphold both the spirit and the letter of the laws of cricket."
Weasel words, indeed, although such a phrase is less than kind to the animal concerned.
The Surrey dossier was opened 14 years ago when one umpire, Don Oslear, filed three reports about ball-tampering between July 19 and August 19, 1991. The first match was against Gloucestershire at Guildford and the following one at the same venue against Yorkshire.
Oslear's letter to the England & Wales Cricket Board, countersigned by colleague Bob White, said: " We gave Surrey captain Ian Greig the benefit of the doubt against Gloucestershire, but then noticed that the cross-seam had been opened up against Yorkshire. I called the new captain, Alec Stewart, and told him the practice must cease. He immediately reprimanded Waqar Younis and stopped him from bowling.
"The problem we had was that we wanted to change the ball but the only one we had was from the previous game against Gloucestershire and that seam had also been opened up."
The circus then moved, 25 days later, to New Road where Surrey played Worcestershire. Same umpire ( Oslear), same bowler (Waqar) but a reversion of captaincy from Stewart to Greig. This is an extract of Oslear's letter to the ECB, countersigned by colleague Barry Dudleston.
"Unfortunately, I have to report again the lifting of the quarter-seam while Surrey were fielding. I first brought it to the attention of Stewart after 40 overs, who was the Surrey captain when I reported the matter previously. This time, the captain was Greig but I asked Stewart to remedy the situation before we, the umpires, had to take action.
"The penultimate over before lunch was bowled and I noticed that the ball was again tampered with. At the end of the over, Stewart took the ball again and tried to press the seam together but he failed. We then informed Greig that, should the action not cease, we would replace the ball with the oldest one we could find.
"He called his four bowlers together, Waqar, Martin Bicknell, Tony Murphy and Keith Medlycott and asked us to tell them of our intentions."
Despite the ECB having three reports from the same umpire about the same side - making four in one year - their response was a limp letter to Surrey asking them "to take all necessary action to prevent further disciplinary procedures being necessary if we receive any further report referring to the deliberate damage to the ball."
As Oslear said at the time: "Why did the Board not tackle head-on the players concerned? Why did they, by confining action to a written warning, deny the umpires the sort of strong action support they needed?"
Oslear might have been the common denominator in every report but they were countersigned by three umpires, White, Dudleston and the late Chris Balderstone. The cricket world awaits the ECB reaction to the latest Surrey transgression, but breath should not be held.
As for the row in Jamaica, the politically correct nature of the modern world is handling an open chequebook to the legal profession into whose willing arms fall most alleged offences committed by players.
West Indies batsman Wavell Hinds was brought on to bowl on the last day of the sterile Antigua Test match and promptly threw, baseball-fashion, the ball at striker Smith. He then bowled a string of no-balls and spat on the pitch.
He was charged with a Level II offence and fined his full match fee by match referee Jeff Crowe. At the hearing, Hinds claimed that Bravo had told him in the dressing-room that Smith called him a "black something". He told Smith he should be ashamed of himself, especially as he was captain of a multi-racial team.
Referee Crowe said that there was no evidence to support Bravo's claim but the forthright South African captain has demanded a full apology, otherwise he would "take further action because of defamation."
The recent spotlight on sledging in the last few weeks started with the ludicrous spat among Shane Warne, Chris Adams and Matt Prior. The media must bear some responsibility for trying to ensure that on-field swapping of insults does not stay there.
So, That Was the Week That Was. A double dose of mindless ball-tampering from a club with plenty of form and a racist accusation late in a tour of the Caribbean which, for one-sidedness, rivals mismatches involving Zimbabwe and Bangladesh.
What a pity that the season proper does not start until another ten weeks, with the first Ashes Test match at Lord's.