BRIAN DICK’S PRIORY DIARY
I’d sincerely like to thank the pair of teenage girls who got my afternoon off to the perfect start. Ten seconds after drawing to a halt in the car park they decided their father’s Land Rover door would be the best weapon with which to cave in my side panel.
Not content with letting her sister have give it her best shot, the second did exactly the same thing and then looked at me as I sat, incredulous, in the driver’s seat wondering how much audacity one person could have. I found out when dad got out and sniggered at me. Now how is it 4x4 drivers get such a bad name?
Overheard at the Crepe van, where I have spent a considerable amount of time, this week. Cast – thirsty customer, pancake vendor.
Customer: “Do you have any bottles of water, please.”
Vendor: “Yes but they’re not that cold, is that OK?”
Customer: “Do I have a choice?”
Vendor: “You do. You could go somewhere else.”
Customer: “The other van is shut.”
Vendor: “You still have a choice. You could buy it or not.” Alan Sugar must feel he has mistimed his search for his Apprentice.
Everything I have against corporate entertainment was succinctly summed up during Sunday’s final. Fewer than 20 people watched from the Free Food Section as Kateryna Bondarenko and Yanina Wickmayer battled out an epic first set. Either the rest have no interest in tennis or the caterers should have scheduled lunch a little earlier.
While we’re on the Bondarenko sisters. Perhaps someone could explain to me the difference between Kateryna’s sister Alona sitting five yards from the court and issuing constant encouragement and the prohibited practice of coaching from the stands.
After all big sister said a lot more than most British Davis Cup captains even if it was just ‘Bravo’, clap, clap.
The shortlist has been drawn up for Interviewee of the Week with three nominees. Cara Black for her interesting and heartfelt account of the situation in her homeland Zimbabwe, Naomi Cavaday for having the cheek to sit in front of the press and tell us her game is suited to every surface - not once but twice, or Bethanie Mattek for titillating the fourth estate with images of her lacy Wimbledon outfit. Call me shallow but I’ll go for smiling, blue-eyed, blonde American.
Speaking of Cavaday it was interesting to see despite, according to her possessing, one of the best all-round games in the sport, she lost in the first round of qualifying at Eastbourne of Saturday. To a Brit.
And finally. The usual thanks to the honest citizens of DFS-land who take my mocking and sniping in such good spirit. Apologies to anyone I’ve offended this week, I trust there is no lasting grudge. But most of my gratitude has to go to the loyal band of spies who have kept me in material all week.