It's the bugbear of modern royalty. Having to pull off one's wellies and mingle with the great unwashed.
Pressing fetid flesh, cooing over strangely-named kids, supping endless grimy pints of warm bitter - all in the name of being more 'accessible'.
Until that is, King Nicholas I arrived to take the strain.
At present King Nick is happily bumping round the realm in his mobile palace, parking up in the car parks of stately homes and inviting the public to have a poke around.
He was even offering the odd cucumber sandwich until Health and Safety took an interest.
King Nicholas I is a new arrival to the aristocracy - but feels the Windsors could learn a lesson from him.
"The running costs are high and petrol is now an issue," he said, after parking up yesterday at Aston Hall. "My dad loaned me a Volvo but the mileage on it is not very good. But as long as people want to see royalty in the flesh, I'm here for them."
The 26-year-old is a late addition to the aristocracy. Formerly Nick Copeman from Solihull, two years ago he was a destitute university drop-out before hitting on the idea of changing his name to King Nicholas I.
One of his first tasks was to ride up to Cromer Job Centre in Norfolk on a horse and wearing a crown - and his royal duties started to snowball.
He sold peerages over the internet, supplied his own royal memorabilia and conducted public tours.
"It started as a bit of a joke, with just a few friends and me laughing about how easy it would be to pretend to be a monarch," he said.
"When I realised I could stop being plain Nick Copeman I filled in all the forms to wait for the deed poll documents to come through the post. Then, there it was - I was officially King Nicholas I."
His palace cost him the princely sum of £450 and bears the legend: 'please drive carefully - monarch on board'.
Inside is adorned with crimson silk throws, teatowels of the Queen, his Duke of Edinburgh Award Silver certificate on the wall - and a photographic shrine to Royal rebel, Zara Phillips.
"My aim is to marry Zara Phillips, or someone who looks like Zara Phillips," he said. "I've written to her many times but I've never had a reply from her. "
Before he came to Aston Hall, he spent a day or two at Holyrood Palace in Edinburgh, then at Tatton Hall in Manchester.
"You're conditioned to think everything is bad and miserable but most people are cheery," he said.
Most people? "In Manchester there was an incident with some youths rocking the palace. Other than
During his tour he is accepting nominations for local heroes to be recognised in his alternative honours system. Resplendent in his white state uniform he also carries a ceremonial sword at his side.
"My uniform is made by a local lady named Beryl," he said. "She did such a good job she's now Dame Beryl. My honours are for good eggs, local heroes who have missed out in the other honours system.
"My local truck stop owner, he is now a sir. It took him years of service to earn it."
Three bemused members of the King's Bromley Historical Society were his first guests of the day.
They had travelled to Aston Hall to investigate the link between its former owner and the daughter of King's Bromley manor, near Lichfield.
"I don't know much about his lineage but he has obviously fallen on hard times, hasn't he?" said Georgene Potter.