As I write this I’m coming out of the other side of one of my depressive episodes. They come so infrequently now it really has caught me on the hop.

I have suffered depression for 25 years now so I know all the signs and I’m aware when the “black dog”  is nipping at my heels.

I used to be terrified of flying but, as my desire to escape our bleak mid winter is so strong, I battled to cure myself of this a few years ago.

However, at Malaga Airport last week I could feel the panic rising when boarding the plane as we were first told we were facing an 80mph tailwind but were hit by a 70mph headwind instead and the turbulence was so strong the cabin crew could not be released.

My poor husband Lincoln didn’t know what had hit him as I started shaking and crying like a baby. He held me tight, told me there was nothing to worry about and how much he loved me.

Of course we landed safely, but I knew my over-reaction was the start of a bumpy ride of a completely different nature. I slept badly and when I woke the next morning my “thing,” as I call it, was there.

Depression is such a cruel, isolating condition.

No one can see it. I look the same to most people, but those who love me can see what they call the deadness in my eyes.

My mum used to say that she could look across a crowded room, see me talking to a group of people and know that I was ill.

Being an actress has come in very handy as I’m very good at covering it when I’m in work and social situations.

Depression robs you of your feelings. It takes away your ability to properly love those closest to you. You have no energy for anything.

The simplest tasks seem almost impossible and so dishes that need washing can reduce the depressed person to tears and become an almost insurmountable chore.

I called my first book Pulling Myself Together because that’s the sort of comment that the depressed hear all the time.  “Come on snap out of it. What have you got to be depressed about,” is another unhelpful comment.

That’s the cruelty of mental illness. I have not got anything to be “depressed about” but clinical depression is an illness not a mood.

The advantage of having lived with this illness for so long is that as awful as it is I’m not frightened of it in the way I used to be. I know now that it will lift and I will return to my old self.

I want to thank my Lincoln for being such an amazing husband and friend. He had never been around anyone with clinical depression and partners and family play an integral part to recovery.

The reason I have written about this today is because as a spokesperson for the charity Mind it’s part of my role to break down the stigma of mental illness.

If you have a doctor who is unsympathetic to your depression change them. Mine is wonderful so this is to you Rob Hendry for always being at the end of the phone.

I’m supposed to be flying to America this weekend to see my son Matt playing in LA and I also have three meetings... at my age.

So I hope I’m well enough to go. I’ve been so excited so fingers crossed I’ll be writing this from across the pond next week. #nannagoestoHollywood

A new series of Clangers is currently in production and due to air on CBeebies in 2015
A new series of Clangers is currently in production and due to air on CBeebies in 2015

TV decision makers have dropped a Clanger

We all love a bit of nostalgia and nothing evokes warm childhood memories more than the theme tunes of favourite programmes.

Time to go home, from Andy Pandy never fails to bring a tear to my eye. The Woodentops, The Magic Roundabout and Sara And Hoppity.

OK, only I seem to remember Sara And Hoppity, but never mind. I loved them all.

The Wombles seem to be enjoying a bit of a revival playing on stage at Glastonbury, no less.

When I released a record in 1995 it was produced by Wombles songwriter Mike Batt and my friend, presenter Lauren Hamilton’s dad is actually Uncle Bulgaria! Yes, I know all the greats.

However, I can’t conceal my deep disappointment that the children’s favourite they are bringing back is... the Clangers.

Why? Didn’t we all think the Clangers were boring beyond belief?

They were knitted, pointy-faced creatures. Who just whistled: “Oo .....oo.... oo” and we all hated them on our street.

It’s just typical that we have to have the one Clangers fan in the world as our “Head Of Reviving Children’s Favourites Shows”. Fail! as my son Louis would say.

PS. My double A-side of You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me and Cry Me A River is available at all good car boot sales!

Denise with friends Rose, Tricia and Gaynor
Denise with friends Rose, Tricia and Gaynor

Bezzie of the Week

Three of my best friends are Rose, Tricia and Gaynor and they are always there for me no matter what.

Rose and I have known each other since our drama school days when she was 17 and I was 18. We have never had a cross word and are godparents to each other’s children.

In fact, when Rose’s son Harrison was born just five months after my son Louis, I was her birthing partner and actually helped to deliver him.

Gaynor Morgan I met through her dad, Manchester United legend Willie Morgan, who is also a great friend.

Gaynor and Rose were bridesmaids at my wedding and are always there for me and Tricia Penrose saw me go through the Big Brother experience and still went on it! 

As a result of us both appearing on Celebrity Stars In Their Eyes many years ago (she won, I didn’t) we were invited to a costume party and I actually introduced her to her husband, TV presenter Mark Simpkin.

I love the girls dearly and I’m lucky we live so close to each other.  At times like this I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Gripe of the Week

Cardiff Council is considering monthly bin collections. Really? Seriously?

This may be sufficient for Myfanwy who lives alone with Tiddles the cat, but in my house with the constant traffic of our friends, Louis’ friends, and Matt’s musician friends – who we regularly trip over in the morning – three visits a day would not be enough!

What a load of rubbish!