Birmingham businessman John James has never been known to hide his light under a bushel, nor any other part of him, or so it seems.

Word reaches Bright of an "incident" in a Moroccan hammam where our hero was about to experience the delights of a Turkish bath.

"Do we take our clothes off?" asked JJ, having been given outline details of the event.

"Yes," he was told. Seconds later the air was rent with screams from the female receptionist.

"When you get IN there, sir!" he was frantically urged.

* * *

A bloke on his way home from work comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks: "Officer what's the hold up?"

The officer replies: "It's a Blues fan, he's just so depressed about the danger of relegation from the Premiership. Breaking the cup record of conceding goals at home, prospect of winning nothing for the next fifty years, he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire.

"He says he is a typical bluenose, family hates him, his mates are all laughing at him and he has never had a job. I'm walking around taking a collection for him."

"Oh really?" says the bloke. "How much have you collected so far?"

"Only about half a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

* * *

It was a case of about turn for the BBC's only blind political correspondent Gary O'Donoghue, recently a speaker at a national disability conference held at Solihull.

My man was sent to cover his speech and was keen to have a chat. But thought he'd nip to the toilet first.

Standing at the urinal he turns to see a tall, hunched man poking a white stick at the opposite wall - the wrong wall if you want to do the business.

It was clearly Mr O'Donoghue. Time for the slightly embarrassed cough to gain his attention.

"Spin 'round, and aim in the other direction," is the advice. Relief all round.

* * *

Up to Halifax to celebrate Moseley rugby club's promotion where they duly despatched the locals 22-9.

There had been a big media build up to the game, with both BBC and Central filming at training, interviewing coaches and officials and diving into the archives from when the club was in its pomp in the 1970s and 80s.

And, to be fair, they did the boys proud. There was just one minor hiccup.

The BBC's flashback footage featured legendary Moseley and England second row, Nigel Horton, felling the father of current Moseley coach Ian Smith who was playing for Gloucester at the time.

Bright's vicar on earth, Birmingham Post business editor John Duckers journeyed up with club visionary Alan Adam in the driving seat, his partner Morag, and long standing member James Jowett.

Jowett and Duckers were navigating which resulted in an unscheduled tour of the Potteries and the scenic route through Cheshire.

After eventually getting to Halifax, parking proved to be a sodden field where "The Bangar" as the battered motor is dubbed came to a halt wheels spinning furiously.

But with Duckers pushing and Adam in reverse gear it just about made an island amidst the bog - the pitch wasn't much better.

It's Barking this weekend. I sometimes think we are.

* * *

Advantage West Midlands spin doctor Matt Danks is back in one piece...just.

Been in India watching the cricket, the lucky swine. Went out for the Third Test which England won.

"Continuing my 100 per cent record of overseas England Test victories," he tells me. "If anybody fancies fundraising to pay for my trip to Australia for the Ashes so I can carry on my talismanic approach, feel free."

And he has won his bet that he wouldn't go down with Delhi belly.

"Of course, as you'd expect from someone whose genetics were forged in the foundries and workshops of the Black Country, I was fine in the stomach department.

"I feel I might have overdone it with the Kingfisher I'm starting to get orange feathers sprouting on my chest and feel an overpowering urge to dive headfirst into the cut in Netherton in search of fish."

I fear for Danks some times.

But he goes on: "Far more worrying was the fact that four of our party never made it to the sub-continent after something of an altercation at Dubai airport involving the first class lounge - they were flying economy.

"Indeed, two of them are still there now sans passports - three weeks on! Oh well, it's great to be back."