If, like me, you have precious little interest in casinos or gambling in general for that matter, then Birmingham's current spin of the wheel looks increasingly bizarre.

We seem to have a situation where the Government has only pledged to grant one "supercasino" in the country, which, it has indicated, is most likely to go to Blackpool.

Poetic justice, I would claim, that the resort should get this likely den of iniquity given I have recollections as a kid of being sick as a dog while on holiday in the place after bathing in their foul sea water. Blackpool - the poor man's paradise.

All sideshows and seaside landladies. Ghastly.

But the casino punters reckon the Government actually doesn't really mean there will be only one.

They believe that after the usual fog of "consultation" and navel gazing supercasinos will be allowed across the country - perhaps one per region.

This is always supposing the church lobby, the hand-wringing do-gooders and the dreadful Daily Mail don't manage to put the mockers on it with another unholy campaign of self-flagellation.

So we have the unedifying display of Birmingham City Football Club vying with the NEC to try and land a super-casino which may or may not be their's for the asking.

The only saving grace, and just a wonderful spectacle, is to see the Blues-blind Karren Brady and NEC poodle Jerry Blackett, of Birmingham Chamber of Commerce, throwing mud at each other in public.

A sideshow Blackpool would kill for.

Anyway, the wretched project might go to Coventry or, let us hope, to an abandoned and long forgotten nuclear bunker in some remote part of the West Midlands where everyone bar poker addicts won't notice its presence.

The Drakelow Tunnels near Kidderminster would be a good site.

Such a solution would spare the rest of us from the greed, avarice, crime, conmen and cheap women who would be attracted to the thing like flies.

Why, when we are step by step rebuilding the name of Birmingham and its reputation do we want to be dubbed "tacky town" by opening a slot machine hell run by a bunch of American wide-boys?

And indeed why do we need yet another casino?

The Star City one has only just moved into the black after racking up a £1 million loss last year for its gaming group owner, Stanley Leisure.

The group also operates the Midland Wheel and Circus casinos in Birmingham.

I seem to recall various casinos up Five Ways and Hagley Road way. No doubt

there are others. Is there any evidence these are not meeting demand?

I say to the supercasino brigade - a plague on all your roulette wheels.

* *

Broadband, the microwave and the teabag were the favourite "speedy inventions" of all time, according to a recent report from Wanadoo.

The electric toothbrush and ready meals were also up there. But I still say the easiest way for an inventor to make their fortune is produce a hand-drier that actually dries your hands.