If my fairy godmother were to announce that I could be beautiful, rich and famous - but I had to serve a term as Chancellor of the Exchequer first - I would turn her down and send her away.
I can think of no worse job than trying to run the country's economy. Gordon Brown has managed to make it look relatively straightforward for some time now and even that has worked against him.
There are people lurking about in the wings waiting for a mistake, financial and economic experts all too ready to reveal their theories on why he is wrong, but we, as a nation, simply can't afford him to be wrong.
His first bold and very necessary step - to hand the responsibility for interest levels back to the Bank of England - was remarkable and I believe we have all benefited by that move.
Then he set out the Golden Rule that would govern tax and spending policy, namely that he would borrow money only for long term projects and investment but that the daytoday running of the country would be paid for by taxes.
With each budget and financial statement he has referred to these rules and made the point that he was keeping to them.
However, for the last few weeks our lurking experts have been declaring an immense, £10 billion deficit that the Chancellor could only solve by increasing taxation.
To keep the golden rule Mr Brown needs a major turn around in our spending patterns and the currently stable house prices to start climbing again. I am not sure that businesses or indeed public services, such as schools and hospitals, would welcome another steep increase in house prices. The shocking reports of credit card debts earlier this year has made everyone conscious of their spending patterns. That, I'm afraid, leaves taxes.
Businesses, especially small businesses, are very aware of the "hidden" taxes that have crept into our lives over the last few years and will not welcome any more.
Indeed they will be very angry should the Chancellor hit them again.
An increase in business rates, even if it is hidden as a revaluation of business properties will be the subject of a national outcry.
Cutting government settlements to local councils and thus making them the scapegoats when they are forced to raise the Council Tax is something that Mr Brown has done before as well, so that is probably not a good idea either.
He has already raised the levels of National Insurance to both employees and employers. More than ever he needs the hard work and effort that small and medium sized businesses put into the economy and to find a new and sly tax to impose on them is just not on.
Yes, on the whole I'm glad I'm not the Chancellor, I'll stick to ugly, poor and infamous!
* Diane Rayner is an independent adviser on small businesses in the West Midlands
