Wild man Austin Healey has been his usual outspoken self.

Happened to be in Solihull giving a speech, and apparently set about some of his former colleagues in the England rugby team describing various of them as "thick as pig s***".

Presumably that was the forwards, but it seems one or two of the backs can be a little 'forgetful'.

Hence he highlighted a story about the Rugby World Cup team appearing on Weakest Link.

Matt Dawson was asked by Anne Robinson: "What J describes where two roads meet?"

The answer was "jewel carriageway".

I think little Mattie might just have been taking the mick.

Apparently Ann Robinson was laughing so much she almost fell off the podium and they had to stop filming.

Healey also described his perfect sporting day – when England took on the Welsh team at the opening of the Millennium Stadium, and won by a record margin.

When they arrived at the dressing rooms they found life-size cut outs of all the Welsh players – an attempt to intimidate them.

Not to be outdone when they went out in the tunnel, they took the cut outs-out with them and as they lined up with the Welsh players, on a signal from the captain, they all turned and punched the heads off the cut-outs!

Brilliant.

After the game they drove out in the coach to be surrounded by thousands of jeering taffies, a troubled journey not helped by the players making various gestures to said 'fans'.

The players were also somewhat distracted by various females baring their chests at them and offering services.

In the slow drive out two of the Welsh spectators were hit by the coach, the team doctor and Sir Clive Woodward jumped out to help, and were promptly surrounded by irate supporters.

This didn't seem to worry the English players, but Sir Clive's SAS minder felt obliged to jump out and drag him back to safety. Apparently the team doctor was disposable.

Then out of nowhere the local constabulary appeared and started setting about the fans to clear the way.

So, as Austin said, not only had they come to Wales, knocked the heads off the Welsh team, beaten them by a record margin at their own brand new stadium, been flashed at by their women, had Sir Clive accosted, but also seen the Welsh supporters beaten up by their own police.

A perfect day.

And then the anecdote I think I like the best.

There was the first time Healey had given live commentary for the BBC, standing at pitch side with headphones in place ready to launch into his introduction.

The editor cuts to him and through his headphones all he can hear is Jeremy Guscott shouting at full pelt "you look gay, you look gay, you look gay".

Later Guscott's mike somehow mysteriously became disconnected during the post match interviews!

----

Has Stoford Developments gone soft?

It seems the Midland developer has attracted a host of new names for the eighth Stoford Challenge taking place at Outdoor Adventure near Bude from May 11-13.

But it says the emphasis has moved from the physical to the mental. Oh well, sounds like a different form of "torture" is on offer.

Shakespeare Putsman, Shoosmiths and Environ are amongst the new takers.

Stoford's own team of Nick Palmer, Nicola Spears, Alex Morgan and Chris Orton are also getting to know the ropes for what will be their first outing in the event as our picture shows.

Aiming to attract up to 20 teams, Stoford is developing last year's successful format with the promise of a bumper two days of fun-filled activities without the blisters.

Mini-archery, a novel form of twister and building a Cornish wreck are amongst the new challenges in this year's event.

Stoford director Dom Stokes said: "Everyone can look forward to plenty of fun and friendship laced with some stimulating problem-solving."

A few places are still available for mixed teams of four – contact Cathy Stacey at Stoford on 0121 234 6699.

---

Senility is creeping in for Birmingham Chamber spin doctor Roger Monkman.

The remarkably organised Monkman – for once – decided a year ago that he and the wife would be holidaying in Portugal this summer.

So back in August he books two tickets with Monarch.

Except ... by December he has completely forgotten, and books another two tickets with bmibaby.

"Something to do with old age," he mutters into his pint of Timothy Taylor.

Anyone want a couple of cheap tickets to Faro airport?

---

News from The Birmingham Post Sidmouth correspondent Gordon "Six Figures" Denman.

He tells me his phone has been "red hot" since Bright told recently how he had had to evacuate his home following a fire – not his fault apparently, down to one of the other old fogies in the block of flats.

Denman give up the insurance game and retired down there some years back.

But he still keeps in touch with former pals "Adrian Chiles impersonator" Martin Shilvock and former Willis head Tony Pollard.

Sadly, Denman says the state is "not yet paying my wine bill".

Good job too, I say.

We can't cope with the global credit crunch and Denman's wine bill all at the same time. It would bankrupt the country.

Anyway, it seems the Denmans are back in their home after what the insurance world terms a "fire break" – only 16 appliances were required to put out the flames.

And apparently the Denman crown jewels were also saved.

He writes: "Glad to report assets all intact including an original Digby Jones signature pre-Lordship. Worth more than gold thanks to Brown."

Not sure about that, Gordon.

Digby says he aims to quit politics by the end of the year so I should flog it to one of those Devon junk shops pronto.

---

My old chum Harvey Williams has been "dealing" in football shares again.

Not so long ago it was Villa and the takeover by Randy Lerner; now its Coventry City and Ray Ranson's Sisu Capital.

Ranson saved the club from going bust and hence the shares are virtually worthless.

But Harvey advises various family trusts holding them and, seemingly according to financial regulations, there has to be a nominal offer – 1p per 100 shares in this case.

Harvey is acting for 2,000 shares and payment for the first tract of 400 came through the other day.

He received a cheque for 4p; meantime the postage was 34p.

"It puts the credit crunch and the property business in the shade," quips our man.

Incidentally, I hear the Blues have launched a helpline in the wake of the recent Aston Villa setback – it's 0800 51 51 51.

---

TV pundit and broadcaster Gary Newbon comes on the phone, telling me he has been touring the House of Lords.

Surely they haven't elevated Newbon to the peerage – we would never hear the last of it.

Thankfully it isn't true and he is only there on a visit.

And he looks in on a debate in which Lord Jones of Birmingham is speaking – taking time out from his globe-trotting around the world drumming up trade.

Labour MPs and Lords have been moaning at how little Digby turns up in the House, and seemingly he has got the message.

"He was batting well against the Conservatives," says Newbon, offering his own vote of confidence.

"It was his own lot behind him he had to worry about."

Not much different to football then, eh Gary?

---

Who said cricket can’t be played in the rain?

My sporting bravery award this week goes to the pioneering corporate cricketers of Shakespeare Putsman and PricewaterhouseCoopers for playing Wet Weather Cricket in constant rain at Britannic Park, Moseley, on Tuesday evening.

After seven overs in the opening 2008 John Bright Trophy match, rain set in and tournament organiser Ross Reyburn in his umpiring role suggested playing on making the match a 10-over game.

Foolishly both captains agreed hoping the rain would cease.

It got heavier finally leaving batsmen standing guard in pools of water, players frequently slipping over and the square leg umpire sensibly sheltering under an umbrella.

Match champagne moment was PwC bowler Yasir Jawed trapping accomplished Shakespeare batsman Neemesh Mistry lbw with an off cutter after sprawling flat on his face delivering the ball.

Other highlights were Mazar Masood’s match-winning undefeated 35, a brilliant wet weather stumping by PwC captain Sayed Abbas and Shakespeare’s impressive left-arm spinner Michael Young taking 1-7 in his two eight-ball overs.

My message to corporate cricketers is ignore Reyburn’s suggestions.

His past eccentric wet weather ploys include a failed attempt to get a police helicopter to hover over a sodden square at his club’s main ground.

John Bright Trophy - Week 1
Tues Apr 29 - PriceWaterhouseCoopers 101/2 in 10 overs (M Masood 35 rtd, I Birch 25 rtd, M Young 1-7) Shakespeare Putsman 90/5 in 10 overs (S Taylor 24*, E Crust 1-13). PwC won by 11 runs.
Thurs May 1 - Wragge & Co 100/5 in 16 overs (D Curtis 28, I Crooks 26, T Long 2-5) Martineau Johnson 101/2 in 12.7 overs (J Preston 35, I Sheppard 29*). Martineau Johnson won by 8 wkts.